Unveiling the Silent Partner: Tackling Gender Norms in the Fight Against HIV
PAI first met Kennedy Odhiambo Otina and MEGEN, Men for Gender Equality Now, in 2008 during the filming of The Silent Partner: HIV in Marriage, our latest advocacy documentary.A skilled advocate and grassroots organizer, Kennedy has led MEGEN since its early days when it was a pilot project of FEMNET, the African Women’s Development and Communication Network based in Nairobi, Kenya. These days MEGEN is an independent NGO on the regional stage, replicating its organizational, advocacy and communications strategies in six additional African countries.
By Kennedy Odhiambo Otina
Coordinator, Men for Gender Equality Now (MEGEN)
Nairobi, Kenya
I have defied many odds to work with men to end sexual and gender-based violence and the spread of HIV in Kenya and in sub-Saharan Africa. From the very beginning, my experiences can be described as a “baptism by fire.”
It all began when I was invited to a high profile regional training-of-trainers on gender-based violence organized by FEMNET, which promised to be interesting. The workshop package included full board residence in a 5-star hotel, meeting and learning with people from different African countries, the opportunity to add flavor to your Curriculum Vitae (CV), and so forth.
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| In December 2008, MEGEN organized the Men’s Travelling Conference during the 16 days of Activism Against Gender Violence, where 114 gender activists from Kenya, Malawi, Zambia and Uganda—the majority of them men—urged people to take action on gender violence. |
The first day of the training was alive with energy and excitement among participants. By the second day, our gathering became the stuff of a sensational tabloid story. Kenya’s leading newspaper and additional radio and television reports were awash with the same headline: a group of battered men meet in Nairobi to discuss their plight.
When this news was shared by the meeting organizers, some participants became so dejected and questioned whether they wanted to associate with this effort. “I think we have lost face,” remarked one man. The facilitators worked the phones at a feverish pace to correct the media’s misinterpretation, but with little success.
Beyond the meeting room, the real drama was awaiting me. A longtime friend who worked at the hotel expressed surprise that I was attending the workshop, retorting “Ken! you mean…you are one of the men who are battered…?” This personal encounter placed me between a rock and a hard place, as my ego was thoroughly challenged. His response made me question my own involvement and I debated leaving the meeting as well. Strangely, I gathered the courage to stay put and continue the training. Today I am able to talk about this encounter with humor and nostalgia.
It is against this backdrop that I jumped at the chance to participate in the making of The Silent Partner as one of the main narrators. Each time an African watches this short film, they must wonder who I am and how I came to hold these odd beliefs about men and women’s roles in society. And similar to their experiences, there is always a new discovery for me with each viewing of The Silent Partner. For far too long, we have been struggling to link sexual and gender-based violence to the spread of HIV. Today, there is no disputing the growing body of evidence linking the broader social and cultural norms that exacerbate the HIV/AIDS pandemic. The key is “bringing it closer to home” as I say in the film – we have to raise these issues and deal with them at the community level.
In the last few months, The Silent Partner has been screened from Zambia to Kenya, from Canada to the World Bank. Screenings in Uganda and Tanzania are scheduled for July. As one who has dedicated his life and career to engaging men on gender and health issues, I encourage you to watch the film and share its messages with everyone you know.
To learn more about MEGEN, visit http://www.megenkenya.org/
To watch The Silent Partner: HIV in Marriage documentary, please visit our website.
